Dear The Press: May I Have Some Press, Please?

I feel compelled to try and write something to "sell you" on my upcoming book, so here it goes.  ;-)

For Starters...

• I've had a successful Kickstarter campaign.  It ends April 13th, but it already passed its goal and has over $2000 in pledges so far.  It's exciting to see that kind of support from the community.  Backers will be getting their copies early in September.
  • All pre-order proceeds are going directly to my 2-year-old daughter's 529 college savings plan (no one knows that yet, as I wanted all the preorders to be from a legitimate interest in the book, not acts of charity).  I hope this sparks conversations with other parents of young children about the importance of saving money for college and how it can be fun (like writing & selling a book).
  • One of the book's backers is Milwaukee County Supervisor Jason Haas, who posted about his support for the campaign on his Facebook page.

• I've spoken with Julie Crnkovich, owner of Tribeca Gallery Cafe & Books (new in Walker's Point) about doing an official book release event there on November 24th (which is "Shop Local Saturday," the day after "Black Friday").
  • It's still in the planning stages, and nothing is set in stone yet, but it will be a fun event that will be open to the public.
  • I will have a portion of the proceeds from the book release event go to a local scholarship/charity, but those details still need to be ironed out.
  • November is pretty far away, so lots of time to plan.

About The Book...

Here is my elevator pitch:

• A humorously self-deprecating work of non-fiction. This book is a rollercoaster through the ADHD mind of a father trying to time-capsule his brain, before a drunk t-bones him off a bridge.

Ready for the ridiculous title?  It's called...

BUY MY BOOK:
Not Because You Should, But Because I'd Like Some Money.

• The title is a pretty transparent look at the motivations of the book.  What is this book about?  It's about getting the reader's money and how my need to write it outweighs the readers need to read it.  To get good at anything takes practice.  No one is good at something on their first try.  This is my first book, so how good can it really be?  That's not what is important.  What is important is that I write it and that I get paid to write it, so that my daughter can afford to go to college.

• Ready for the ridiculous publishing company?  It's called Barf-Bag Publishing. 

• http://thisisareal.company
• The name is a joke.  When it came time to buy barcodes, I had to decide if it was a self-published book, or if a publishing company was doing it.  I decided to make Barf-Bag Publishing, just so that some readers might think it was real, and because how terrible a name it would be.  So I guess it is real, now.  Funny how that works... I bet lots of people don't write books because they think no publishing company would publish them.  Barf-Bag Publishing is technically real, and it's responsibilities to this book start and end with buying a barcode.

• This book would be rated somewhere between a PG-13 and an R-rating if it were a movie.  Lucky for me, it's a book, so I'll sell it to anyone old enough to use a credit card.

Why This Book Is Important To Me...

• I struggled in the public school system because of my ADHD, and because of that I was not prepared to enter college, and I ended up dropping out.  I've never received any good grades in any English or Literature classes, and so I had convinced myself that I was...
  1. Too illiterate to write a book
  2. Too uneducated to be an authority on any subject
• It took me years to talk myself into writing a book, and I'm glad I did.  It was really fun.  The people around me were all very supportive.  I think EVERYONE should write a book.
• The idea of dying unexpectedly and having my daughter grow up not remembering who I was, gave me the motivation to start this and even more motivation to finish it.  I hope to live into my 100's, but you never know.  This book is an insurance policy that no matter what, she will know who her 36-year-old dad was, and what was important to him in 2018.
• I want to use some of the total proceeds from this book to help fund my daughter's education savings plan. 

Why This Book Might Be Important To The Community...

• This book is proof that any idiot can write a book and sell it, no matter how dumb they are or how dumb the book is... that's inspiring, right?
  • I created Barf-Bag Publishing as a joke (because a dumb-named publishing company still sounds better than "self-published"), but I will honestly help any amateur authors get their book in print.  I'd love to see Barf-Bag Publishing eventually offer a long list of authors who don't take themselves too seriously.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.
• This book features over 20 illustrations from a wide variety of artists, most of which are Milwaukeeans.
• I hope to use some of the proceeds from book sales to contribute to a scholarship program.  Ultimately, I want 100% of the proceeds from this book to help kids get a better education than I did.

If you want to stalk me, I'd be flattered.  This is me:  http://isthis.work/

Thank you so much for your time!
John Edward Marszalkowski